Just a quick note that after the break I get rather personal and my words may affect some more than others. It’s my story of how cancer has touched my life recently and in the past.
BUT FIRST…
Fantasy Faire Releases (April 20-30th)
~ Ceredil – RFL Donation Sets – Complete Skin Sets 1299L
~ Ceredil – Gyouko – Complete Skin Sets – Sale 1299L
~ Ceredil – Ginko – Complete Skin Sets – Sale 1299L
Fantasy Faire is also having a Quest where you get an EXCLUSIVE tattoo as a reward from .:Soul:. along with a ton of other prizes! (Seriously, I saw how many there were!)
You can find .:Soul:. on Mudrana.
.:Soul:. V.I.P. Group is also FREE
To join during the Faire, so get your alts and friends in to get that 15% off all purchases in the main store, plus group gifts! To join, slap any of the joiner signs in the store or at the stall at Fantasy Faire. Regular joining will not work as you need a special tag!
Now for the personal stuff after the break.
Each year around February I start gearing up, gathering myself, and the planning begins for Fantasy Faire.
Usually by the end of March I am nearly done creating my works, but this year everything was interrupted. Not just my plans for the event, but my whole life.
On March 20th, I got my learner’s permit again since 2008. (Nope, I never got a license.) Having that yellow paper in my wallet was supposed to make that day amazing. Three hours later, the doctor called and suddenly my Dad has cancer.
“Cancer.” It’s a word you never want to hear, especially coupled with the words “incurable” and “inoperable”, but that was what was said and those words are what keeps banging around my head in the quiet times and in the dark.
One word. “Cancer” and everything stops. Your heart, your plans, life, even your breath is put on hold while you struggle to wrap your mind around what is going on, how this happened, where is it, how bad is it, what comes next, tests, testing the tests, phone calls, and more tests.
Has it spread?
Can it be treated at all?
Is there hope or is there only “keeping comfortable”?
Time.
How much time is left?
How do you tell a child that grandpa has cancer?
How do you accept it yourself?
I am not ready to lose him yet. Not now.
I’ll never be ready, and NEVER to cancer.
You’re angry.
Anger is normal, but for me I was pissed at Karma. We found out about the cancer just a few days into a charity event I was running for a friend whose own father had come down with a sudden illness. What part of my good karma from that is this? WTF, Karma? How dare you. I got mad at Karma the way others get mad at God.
Slowly, the answers start coming in. You learn a bit more each day, each week. My dad is lucky. They caught it early and it’s small, so they can manage it.
Manage but not cure. Still no cure. WHY IS THERE NO CURE?!
WHY.
IS.
THERE.
NO.
CURE?!
Slowly, life appears to resume. You start off on autopilot, doing the things you always did before that word was uttered.
Eventually, you start to learn to breathe again.
Breathe in… out…. And repeat.
….. and RELAY.
I have found so much support from the Faire and the community in the past when in 1998, we lost my grandmother to cancer. I wrote about her here in 2012.
Until now, I hadn’t told many people or been public at all about my father’s cancer diagnosis, mainly because I don’t want a charity for me or him. We don’t need money.
If you feel that you MUST donate, donate to one of the RFL Kiosks out front of my store, or better yet, go and buy the RFL SE Forest tone that represents liver cancer, the type my dad has.
I, and the millions of others caring for and battling cancer will thank you.
I know that with everyone’s help we can find a cure.
THIS is why I relay.
.:Soul:. 